#6 Your Story, Your Strength: Turning Life Experience into a Superpower with Kate Stirling

What if the very challenges you’ve faced are the key to your confidence, your business, and your impact?

In this episode of Uncover Your Story, I’m joined by Kate Stirling — actor, life coach, NLP Master Practitioner, and founder of Club Thrive. Kate’s story is one of resilience and reinvention, and she shares how our lived experiences, no matter how messy or painful, can become the foundation of our greatest strengths.

We talk about:

• How storytelling helps us feel less alone and build true connection.

• Why self-trust is the starting point for confidence, creativity, and success.

• How to reframe limiting beliefs and use your experiences as fuel for growth.

• The power of using your voice — whether through journaling, video, or conversation — to connect more deeply with others.

Kate’s openness and honesty are a reminder that every story has value — including yours. If you’ve ever questioned whether your story is “interesting enough,” this conversation will shift your perspective.

See links below to connect with Kate, plus access a free meditation.

Future You Visualisation Meditation 

Kate’s website & socials: www.katestirling.com + www.instagram.com/katestirling_ 

Club Thrive website & socials: www.club-thrive.com + www.instagram.com/clubthrive_

Read the episode transcript

 Welcome to Uncover Your Story, the podcast that empowers you to share your story with confidence and joy to increase your impact in the world. I'm your host, Sarah Auten, and I'm a brand photographer and storyteller. By drawing on my 20 years of experience sharing stories for nonprofits and talking to some amazing guests, we'll be diving deep into the art of communicating through a story.

Let's build your communications toolkit with actionable tips, strategies, and insights to uncover your full storytelling potential.

Sarah: Today on Uncover Your Story, I'm thrilled to introduce you to Kate Stirling. Kate is an actor, a life coach, and NLP Master Practitioner, as well as the founder of Club Thrive, a membership that helps women bridge the gap between where they are now and where they want to be in their creative career and personal lifestyle.

Kate's own journey is a testament to resilience, transformation and the power of mindset work. She's overcome many challenges, from anorexia in her teens and crippling low confidence in her work, to rebuilding her self esteem and rediscovering her identity after divorce. What sets Kate apart as a founder and entrepreneur is how she uses the power of storytelling to connect with her audience, grow her business, and inspire others.

Whether it's through her engaging Instagram posts or her own podcast, Kate shares her journey in a way that's authentic, relatable, and Deeply impactful. I first connected with Kate through the business network, Found and Flourish, and then on Instagram. When I sat down to think about the guests I'd like for this podcast, she was one of the first people I thought of because she has such a natural ability to engage her audience through story and her authenticity shines through in every post.

As a master practitioner in NLP, which stands for neuro linguistic programming, Kate helps her clients understand the connection between thoughts, language, and behavior. Through this work, she empowers them to reframe limiting beliefs, shift their mindset, and create lasting change. In today's episode, we'll explore how Kate taps into storytelling to build trust, foster meaningful connections, and empower her clients to live the lives they're truly meant to live.

Kate, welcome to the podcast. I can't wait for our audience to hear from you and your insights on storytelling.

Kate: Wow. Um, firstly, thank you so much for the world's most incredible introduction. I'm stealing that as a soundbite and putting it on my walls when I get home as a reminder. Thank you. And it's such a privilege to be here.

I really appreciate it.

Sarah: Thank you. So I'm going to dive straight in with our quickfire round. So quick snappy answers. Let's go. Creative, creative, change maker, or big hearted rebel? Which do you most resonate with?

Oh Big hearted rebel.

Sarah: Do you have a motto or words that you choose to live by?

I trust myself.

I have it tattooed on my wrist.

Sarah: Nice. I

trust myself to be the best I can be.

Sarah: Brilliant. Brilliant. I've got joy on my wrist. Oh, I love that. It's like a library of words. If your life was a book, what would the title be?

Grief, Trust and Fairy Dust.

Sarah: That's beautiful. What song gets you on the dance floor? Uh, Don't Stop Believing by Journey.

Love it. And what's a daily ritual or habit you can't live without? My

Kate: morning

Sarah: coffee.

Kate: What time do you have it? Well, that depends a little bit, but generally as soon as I get up, I neck a cup of water and then

straight away, pretty much within the first half an hour. So. Anywhere between 5am and 7.

Sarah: Yeah, I love having the coffee first, but I've been working with a nutritionist coach recently and she keeps reminding me I'm supposed to have my sort of balanced, healthy breakfast before my coffee.

It's so hard.

I, do you know what, like I'm a nutrition coach as well and I, there is merit obviously in all of this stuff, but I also have the belief that whatever sets our day up the way that feels the best.

Kate: Yeah. But it's tricky, isn't it? Yeah, I would be told off by my nutritionist perspective.

Sarah: Right. So thanks for that.

I loved, loved your answers. Going to dive in now to uncovering your story. So as a life and mindset coach and the founder of Club Thrive, it seems to me that storytelling Is at the very heart of what you do. It's about looking at the narratives that we tell ourselves and especially the ones that hold us back and finding ways to rewrite those narratives.

Does this ring true? And if so, can you tell me more about how it works?

You know what, when you first broached coming on this podcast, it was so surprising to me in a way, because I'd never seen it from that avenue of storytelling. I'd never considered it from that perspective. And actually, I think as humans, you know, we are so conditioned to live a story, whether it's what we're told we should be or how we should be and then there is the reality of what we live and what I have really learned is that the gap between what we think is going to happen and then the reality that we end up living sometimes is really big and that can feel very dispopulating and so I guess And because of my work as an actor and understanding that stories have impact, you know, we can feel less alone from stories.

We can feel invigorated. We can feel, you know, even thinking about that question that you just asked about the big hearted rebel or the creative change maker. I'm like, well, I wanted to be like all of it. Stories can be like, I don't want to just be one thing. And I think I don't know if it's a female thing.

I can only speak from my experience of the world, but. We can become so narrow in our stories and actually there's this whole avenue of what is possible when we think outside of the box. So it's a bit of a roundabout way of answering your question, but I think, you know, for all of us, we have a story.

All of us. And that honoring that is really important.

Sarah: Yeah, brilliant. And yeah, and I was just intrigued also by your background as an actor. And like you say, that's very much about telling stories, isn't it? So it's interesting. Like, I assumed you would have really thought about that as a, as your angle.

But you're saying that's not how you come at it. And yet, I think it's probably just come so naturally to you. That, you know, it's just how you communicate anyway, isn't it?

Yeah, I think it's probably a penchant for oversharing. And not knowing where the line is between and it comes from a place of not wanting people to feel alone.

I think when you've been through life where you have not always known where you belong, or you haven't really felt like you can trust yourself enough to be yourself, this concept of being yourself, as broad as that is, Story and storytelling can, Make and help people feel less alone and I think in that work as an actor, feeling like you're part of something is a very basic human need and society we kind of with technology and all these things now this fragmentation that we have actually at the root cause of.

much of our pain or suffering is this need to belong somewhere and stories can be part of the bridging of the gap. And it is, do you know what, like, when I started working with a coach in 2020 during the pandemic, and I had never associated myself as being a creative.

I had been an actor since I was a teenager. Yeah, I'd been like really entrepreneurial all my life, but it was only when I started actually tapping into my imagination and using visualization with consciousness. I've done it before, but without consciousness. And probably I'd always been told I was maybe daydreaming a lot or you're very blah, blah, blah.

And that had become my story. I just, I don't have good concentration. And actually when I started coaching and realizing how creative my world is, I was like, I am actually a creative person, but I didn't realize that until my mid thirties, despite having been an actor and stories that when you start to unpack them, it's like, Oh, there's

Kate: all of this other stuff to it.

Yeah.

Sarah: Oh, brilliant. So just thinking now more about brand stories and how they can take many different forms. across different platforms from blog posts to PR pieces to micro stories told in carousels on Instagram and so much more. But one of the things that, you know, you're particularly good at, which is perhaps the thing that many people shy away from is the telling of stories with your voice.

Not only do you have your own podcast, you're extremely prolific and engaging on video and live stories on social media. So I'd love to learn from you. What can you tell us about this approach to telling stories? Was it a conscious and strategic decision? What are the benefits? Do you find it easy?

Obviously your background in acting, I'm assuming that plays into it. Do you find your audience engages more with such content than a carousel, for example? And most importantly, what advice would you give to someone who's keen to give it a go, but is feeling a bit self conscious?

So it's so interesting, this concept of our voice and the communication.

And actually, what I would say is that for a lot of time, when we're growing up or in my life, especially, I actually found it very hard to communicate what I was feeling or thinking. I found that incredibly difficult. And it was only after my divorce in 2015, which I couldn't communicate what I was feeling.

I would actually just feel completely numb that I started journaling. And my tip for anyone that feels very much like they don't have the ability to speak what they're feeling or saying or say what you want to say is to start understanding what it is that you're expressing or feeling inside on paper or in voice mail privately.

because there is always this concept that we are worried about being judged or being seen and judged. And if you have sensitivities around that too, then it can actually be quite hard to say what you want to say. Even things like, what do you want to eat for dinner? If you're not able to express fully what you want, or you have this other background chat of, Oh, but you can't have that because of this, because that magazine said you should do this to lose weight or to look a certain way or whatever.

In the background of your mind, those subconscious thoughts are going to be driving also what you're saying and what you're communicating. So it's also about this deeper connection to self and acceptance. And for me, what I found was that to begin with, I wasn't like this or how I am now. It started with me having to connect with who I was again, and facing up to a lot of very painful experiences, processing a lot of very challenging things, having therapy going to the doctor, I was depressed as well.

So having medication and support. And so it's also this. Seeking help for that support that you might have on a very personal level to then have the impact on a professional level. And then it moves into the realms of, right, well, what is the end outcome that you want from your work? What, and actually, how do you most enjoy that, whether you want to marketing or communication or combination of it?

So, for example, me, . This is how I feel most, I have no issues picking up my phone and being like, hi guys. This is what I'm thinking. This is what I'm feeling. But then from a strategic point of view, it might be that actually sitting down and creating some carousels is better.

But for me, with my consciousness and my attention span, say last year, I found out I have ADHD and just understanding that as well in this bigger picture of everything else,

Sarah: you

know, how am I going to best connect with people and how am I going to best create content that actually is also rewarding to me.

So I don't feel like I'm drawing over my laptop and being like, Oh God, I've got to do a carousel. When actually, you know, I think it's this story as well that we tell ourselves of, Oh, I'm not very good at organization. My story is not important or that's too much to share. So it's also these personal boundaries that we have about what we're happy to share.

And until you also understand that yourself, like I have things that I share in a broader context, but I would never share the personal details because of. Whether it's the impact on other people or the impact for me and so it's also understanding that we don't have to share everything, especially if I don't know if you found this but, we can become very contained, we can become very much like well this is what I need to do in our boxes of whether it's.

based on experience or society. And so it's hard to know where to start. It's hard to know where to express or how to start doing that. And I think the invitation to anyone listening that struggles with it is to, to take the pressure off it, having to look a certain way, to take the pressure off it, having to be communicated perfectly.

If you were to listen back and look at all of my content, the amount of, and we were saying, before we start recording the states, the stumbles, the trips. It's also in those moments when those things happen with your thoughts to say it's okay. We want to create that calm feeling and that feeling of safety in your physical body as well to say here I am, this is me.

And so there's also, there's like all these other layers, which is, can sound very overwhelming, but actually it's incredible because then you've got this huge toolkit of things that you can play with and, and tweak and hone and get better at and have compassion for yourself. Like in those moments, they're like, well, that was a flop, but that's okay.

Learned a couple of lessons about that. Or is it actually that part of a creative process is just creating stuff, putting it out there. Because you're not doing that because you're actually worried about what happens if people will want to work with you. So when I work with people around this area, it's also about saying, well, what is the repercussion of you actually putting yourself out there and being seen in that way?

Oh, people will inquire about working with me. People actually expect something from me, and so then there are these deeper blocks as well. It's not always about the sense of. You know, projecting in a certain way, often there's stuff that when you start to understand about yourself and have compassion for it, it's like, Oh, and then what happens as a by product is that organically communication gets bolder and clearer and more open, but without almost realizing it.

So it's not like a right. Well, today I must get up and, and it can be that there are moments like, right, I'm going to create this video. I think it is about finding the ways that work best for you. You know, if you are a photographer, your photography is gonna be also part of your story and your communication.

Sarah: That's, that's great. I love that. And I think that what you've unpacked there is like we often talk a lot in personal branding about being authentic, and without even using the word authenticity, you've unpacked all of the layers of that. And, you know, and I think that's really good advice for people to, you know, do the work on.

Getting comfortable with who they are and how they like to communicate and understanding that and understanding what platforms they're drawn to and what works for them. Cause like you say, there's no point trying to force yourself to do the videos if that's not you and that doesn't feel right for you.

I also wanted to ask you about , I see you tackling many potent narratives, particularly ones where women are still being held back by false beliefs that have been nurtured by a patriarchal society.

So I'm thinking in particular around body image and wealth mindset. Can you explain how you use stories as a tool to tackle these blocks to women being able to thrive?

It's such an amazing question. I think it also, leads out from your last question about where we might resist putting ourselves online based on the stories that we're telling ourselves about our bodies, about what we're allowed, about what the people that we've had in our life have told us we're allowed, or not even that directly, just what we have told ourselves we can have based on what we are seeing, consuming and absorbing without even realizing it, and how that feeds into the subconscious, unconscious thoughts that we're having that drive our behaviors, that drive how we feel.

And also so many of us are disconnected from our physical bodies because either we have dissociated over time based on the narratives that our body isn't what we think it should look like, or we've had experiences that personally have been overwhelming with our emotions and disconnecting from those emotions and those feelings has been how we've coped.

And so. A lot of this work is connecting back with the body to understand how you're feeling when you think about certain things, whether it's about money or about your body or about your physical abilities, because you might be having physical reactions in relation to those thoughts or perceptions that you're not even conscious about, which is why going back to your previous question about things like carousels and content is acknowledging where the line is between where you're also keeping yourself safe and comfortable.

And I use the word safe very broadly. I'm not talking about trauma here. That's different, but there is a sense of in our nervous system and in our body. If we don't feel safe, we will have a reaction. You might flush, you might stutter. You might get hot. You might get sweaty.

Your speech might speed up. And actually it's, those are all signs of unconscious, whether it's biases or beliefs about yourself that are telling you that what you're in isn't a safe place for you to be. So what I do a lot in coaching is to create these safe spaces that we also use in a rehearsal room, for example for things to go a bit wrong for you to say things that you might never have said and then be like, Oh God, I can't believe I said that because that's all part of what you're holding in.

Oh my God. I can't believe I said I wanted to buy my own house when there are people that can't afford house, like all of these other thoughts that come in to understand your perception of these things to then say, okay, well, what is it that you want? And what can we let go of? And what might be want to reprogram and.

What beliefs or feelings or experiences are still carrying into your day to day. And as a society, it can be very uncomfortable to go against that, if it is to say, well, you can have these things, you can have wealth, you can feel great in your body, and you don't have to look a certain way.

Success doesn't have to look and be a certain thing. It's all about that alignment to you and you feeling. I'm proud of your body, but at times also not feeling comfortable in your body and not having to love your body at all times. It's acceptance. It's acceptance of what you want. I often really invite people to understand where they're not even listening to what they want when it comes to things like food or exercise and how as mums or women who might be caring for other people, health and well being can also just be the thing that is shoved aside because there isn't time.

And I love to flip that to say, how can that feed into you also having better income doing more aligned work so that the wealth and the health and all that kind of stuff is the byproduct rather than it being like, well, that's the focus

Sarah: that's, uh, yeah, that's really, really helpful to unpack that. And then going on to talk

about how the different

experiences that we've had, whether they're

good or bad, you know,

the whole sum of the experience of our lives is what makes

us unique. And, as an entrepreneur, you're a coach

or, you know, in any other sector,

really as a setting up a business to stand apart from the crowd,

it's

bringing your whole self, all your experiences.

That's what makes you different, right? And that can

be the angle that gives you a different.

, Look on life

and, ,

so, and I know you talk about how your experiences are your superpower, which I totally agree with.

And I just wondered if you can explain ,

a bit more about what that means and

how you can harness it. , And for someone starting out on their personal branding journey how they go about drawing on their experiences to shape their story and communicate and connect with their audience.

I think the first thing is to acknowledge what you have overcome, and it's to look back over your life at those moments that really did challenge you to also reconnect with that courage and confidence of what you have already got inside of you.

Because sometimes when we start to think about this thing we're immediately like, but it's almost like we try to project ourselves in a very specific way which can stop some of that. extra flow of life or color of life coming in and so it can help really to get that broader image or perspective on your journey and your story because often you'll have things that you've probably overcome that you've either forgotten about or the size of them has shrunk because their time has passed or that you've processed them and they don't feel as big but actually in that moment in time they were like Well, this is knocking me sideways.

And I've had a huge identity shift as a result of that. And then in that there will always be things that other people are experiencing. You know, on a human level, we're actually all very, very similar. It's just that what we create as a result of our unique experiences is dependent on us and you as an individual.

And so it's really to understand. You know who it is you want to help who it is you want to work with what's going to give you that energy when you look back at the things that have made you tick in your life that make you say I want to get out of bed in the morning what is it because sometimes it could be completely Completely left fields to what you thought it was going to be so that you can also understand what you have overcome and adversity really, I think, can shift us in one of two ways.

It can either take us down a path of there's no way out from here, which I've definitely been on and it takes that requirement of your brain and your action to say, right, no, done. I'm done with this way of living. I'm going to shift myself out. I'm going to go in a different direction. And there's this other, and that's the kind of the other path really from that dichotomy of them is that you, you might be stuck in that murky waters of not really knowing how to brand yourself or how to talk about yourself, but it gets to the point where it's like, well, actually this is now impacting my income.

This is impacting my quality of life. This is impacting my mental health,

Sarah: right?

Let's make a change and using that as that catalyst to say, well, if I was to flip that entirely on its head and was to be the opposite end of the person I am now, because acknowledging the nerves and the perhaps dented, who am I to do it self belief kind of thoughts.

What is a character that I have created in my mind that is the other end of the spectrum? If you think of that individual of, a version of you that's basically smashing it, in your creation, without your rational brain coming up, what do they wear? Who are they? What do they do? And like, what would that person write the story?

Of your life as and what would they be doing? Who would they be helping? What is it that they spend their time doing? How do they want to be seen? What kind of energy do they want to give out? Because then that starts to give you clarity and without clarity It's very hard to create anything because we just go around in circles being like that's a nice Canva diagram, but it's not perfect yet.

So I'll come back to it tomorrow. And then that it's not perfect yet can go on for a month and you've not posted it. And actually it's that thing of saying, every little bit counts. Like Steve Jobs has an amazing quote where he says, basically that the dots only connect when you look back.

And so it's also giving value to these messy moments of not knowing. But just saying, well, what's in my brain? Let's write it out. Is there a story here? There's always a story, but what story is helpful? Yeah. And also what stories am I telling myself in this process that are also blocking me or helping me?

Yeah. So it's this continuous connection with self and self awareness that becomes a practice and just part of the story in branding. And I think the important thing to say here as well is that. It's constantly evolving. My branding journey and story. Oh my goodness, like since 2020 when I think probably we all had to pivot a lot anyway.

You know, it's taken the time to see back and recognize all those pivots that might have gone unnoticed to understand, what you have overcome to see your own growth, to say look at what I have got from that time. And also to know that it will continue to shift I am always tweaking, we're always refining it.

There is always room for growth. It doesn't have to be that there is a final product. You will make something and then you can change it so that you don't have to feel like it is the be all and end all every time you create content or every time you put your story out there.

It's also this freedom. This freedom to not be perfect.

Sarah: Exactly. I love that. I love that advice because as a reforming perfectionist, I I suffer definitely from that. You know, the, the hesitation in putting stuff out because I just don't want to get it wrong.

And I want it to be just perfect and hit just right. And I just think, it's that whole, just, just get it done. Just get it out there and do it. And it's okay. And you can, it can evolve. And I think especially for people starting out that's a really good message I find it fascinating that, You talk about how you had crippling lack of self confidence and yet you speak with such confidence and conviction now, I think, inspiring for people to see the journey that you can go on. But, and yes, I wanted to ask more about what actually I would like to ask you to share.

Your elevator pitch, because we spend a lot of time, I think, working on the blog posts and the, the branding documents and and the marketing that we do online and social media. But, certainly I think , for many coaches and photographers and people in such interests, a lot of it comes through word of mouth, right?

So, so much of your marketing is what you say when you meet people in the coffee shop at the school gates. What, you know, it's like, don't forget, these are golden opportunities when you start up a conversation with someone and they ask, Hey, what do you do?

I just want to like really highlight what you just said about like we forget that we have connections with people.

We go immediately in our brain to that external of social media or online stuff. Don't get me wrong. I am totally the same. But actually, sometimes it's also acknowledging what nerves or fears there might be around in person. And also the connections you already have. So I'm so glad you mentioned that.

Sarah: Yeah.

Okay, so here you go. Are you ready?

Sarah: I'm ready. Hit me. So we're in a bar. I haven't met you before. We're in a group of friends. Hey, this is my friend Kate. Hey, Kate. What do you do?

Well, I have overcome depths of despair countless times to meet myself at the one place I have always been meant to be.

Freedom to be truly and utterly myself. And it's funny because actually this whole concept of an elevator pitch used to give me so much anxiety. Last year when I was really looking to refine Club Thrive, like I, again, like what you were saying before, I'd started it as an idea and set it up. It was a rebrand.

rebrand for my fitness company that I'd set up during the pandemic. And I'd started it with a free WhatsApp group putting it out there. I just did a tweet one day. , I'd started it up as a group for women, to improve self belief and confidence who worked in the creative industries.

And what happened from there was that it suddenly exploded. It went a bit. And I was like, Oh God, this is so exciting. And, but now I need to like really, you know, really what's come through, what's come through like the mission, the amount of mission statements and visions written in my notes. And actually last year I started working or look to work with a business coach and.

They were trying so hard to get me to be like, I help women feel great, look great, get promoted. And I was just like, it's just not really resonating. Like there is truth in that. It's exactly what I do, but it doesn't come from me. And so every time people ask me what I do, I would have this like, I'm going, I'm starting to sweat.

Oh my God. What's my elevator pitch. And I think it's just this invitation to know that it can change like in that moment, you could be like, Oh, hi, I'm Kate. I'm a coach and I really love to help people thrive or I'm an actor and I love to tell stories. And, some people will say you have that one thing and you repeat it over and over and over again.

And that gives you confidence and there is merit in that for sure. But there is also merit to say, are we still clinging on to actually a story about what we do that is different? And who are we? And, you know, what would make you go, that's really interesting. If I was to say I spread magic.

As a single line, that's interesting. You would then be like, you're either very weird, and I need to differentiate myself, in which case we're probably not the right kind of people anyway, and there is this thing here of needing to be comfortable with not being right for everyone. Like that, I'm still learning that one.

So, you know, for that question, I was like, I'm just going to have some fun and put out some stuff in a different way. But it's true. Like I have overcome the depths of despair. I've got out of the darkest of holes. I have picked myself up like battered and bruised and beaten on the floor.

It's felt like thinking I have nothing left to give, all of this stuff led me to. Very, very dark places, but the reminder that there is always light and sometimes we have to create that hope for ourselves, we have to be the ones that create it, that, that see a different alternative for ourselves and letting go of the stories actually that we have told ourselves that we're capable of, that are possible for us, that the inner dialogue that we have, like we're telling the stories of our minds, of our, you know, the thoughts that we're telling ourselves, like, I'm an absolute magician at helping you understand your best qualities because that immediately gives you value and worth.

We are so much more valuable than what we say we do, it's also who we are.

Sarah: So that leads me on what you just said there to, to my next question, which is , yours is a very powerful story, a powerful pitch, as it were, what would you say to someone who's listening and saying, yeah, that's all very well and good for her, but I don't have such an interesting story.

You know what? I think that about myself in relation to other people too. And it's this kind of level of value into people's experiences in life. And what I say to people and clients all the time is that your experience of life in your world is vast. So my experience of my life in the bigger picture of what's going on globally, for example, in the world with the news in the world at the minute is like insignificant.

It's well, how can I even think that , I'm allowed to feel the challenges that I feel when there are children who can't even eat. But it's about giving yourself value in your world, understanding that your experiences at that time for you were the biggest thing you've had to overcome, and they have put you in good stead to now handle.

even bigger challenges. I always thought I would always be able to handle grief like I felt after my divorce. And then I found out last year that my dad has dementia and the grief again, I was like, whoa, hang on. I thought I was an expert at this.

And it's that reminder as well that. We will always have other things that we can grow and develop from and that everyone has a story and that actually it's more about your self worth and allowing your story to have worth, allowing the challenges, no matter how big or small, to have value, knowing that you have overcome adversity,

Sarah: you

have overcome challenge, you have navigated things that you didn't know yet, you have had courage, you have done things that felt scary, you have done things that were difficult, you have overcome challenges.

against what someone else told you to do. That is courageous and brave. It doesn't matter that we're in the Western world and it is this acknowledgement of privilege and saying, well, I also have privilege. And it doesn't mean I'm immune to challenge.

It doesn't mean that. It diminishes what I've been through.

And so it's really giving yourself that space to understand that you do have a story, you do. It just also depends how open, you're willing to go into that story and how deep willing to go into actually what is underneath the external of the story, the rejection, the pain, the grief, the loss, the challenge, the learnings, the growth, like underneath the story, that's what underpins it.

That's why we connect because it's human experience. And so within that, you will always have something always.

Sarah: Thank you for sharing all of that. I think that's also, so powerful a message, what you're saying about every story is important. And, the whole, issue of understanding our privilege and yet understanding that our pain is still relevant and it's still important.

And especially, I've found this as I've been building and growing my own business. And both of us work in creative change maker industries, we wanting to have a positive impact in the world. We want to make a difference. We want to improve people's lives.

And yet there's these huge things going on in the world and it's like, it's what I'm doing relevant, you know, am I really able to talk about this and is it really significant and I think, like you said, being able to hold those things. In, one in each hand and it's okay.

It's not like either or we can have, we can do both. We can acknowledge our privilege and acknowledge our pain and acknowledge our story, and we can do what we can to in our circle of influence to make a difference. And yes, we may not be creating world peace, but every little bit that puts out joy into the world and tries to improve people's lives is important.

Kate: It's so true and I, I can't tell you how much work I've had to do on this over, not just this last year actually with my growing my strands of business and even charging, that balance of well, I don't want to overcharge people and, and understanding that there will be levels of affordability and that's okay too.

And then also. just because you're in a financially tricky time doesn't mean you're any less of a person. But as an individual, for me to also keep providing for my family, I also have to acknowledge this is the patriarchal side of things that it's also okay for me to say, but I have this much experience and this is the value I bring and this is what you're getting.

And it's hugely valuable.

It is around money mindset and letting go of self blame and self judgment and self loathing and reframing a lot of that. And these things that come out, I'm like, Oh God, like I had this thing that came out from a coaching session a few years ago where I was like, I'm not allowed to profit from my pain.

And that came out of me and I was like a burst into tears. And so it's also this reminder that we carry so much emotionally without realizing it.

Sarah: And

that it is tricky, but. I have started to really see it as I can give back more in a really good way if I have more, whether it's more of my time.

I love to give away things for free. I love to give away. I don't gatekeep. I will give all of it where I can. But also that pacing, that sense that we also have to keep going and look after ourselves because if you're also doing it to a point of burnout, then that's also not helpful.

And so I totally resonate with what you're saying. I found it incredibly difficult last year.

What I've learned about grief as well is that it can swamp us and those challenging thoughts can swamp us. And it's about almost. Finding a way to honor those thoughts and those feelings, but also saying, but also look at what is possible so that you can carry it all with you without the way I used to always carry it.

I was like, I'm going to save the world. Yeah. Yeah. And kind of the painful realization that. Can I still believe that? I still believe, you know, we are visionaries. We are creators. I believe we can change the world. And if I didn't have that, I wouldn't have hope. So I do believe that that gives me energy, that gives me that vigor to get up every day, that helps keep the depression away, that keeps self esteem alive.

And so, and that's what comes in that connection to the voice. And the ability to say that without being like, Oh, but I'm really sorry for saying that. And , it's a balance, right? There are some days when I go here and I'm like, why did I say that? Oh my God. But then the self compassion. Yes.

Say it's okay. We're always learning.

Sarah: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It's like, what Brené Brown says about, you've got to. be in the ring right and just like be prepared to get your your butt kicked sometimes and get things wrong but that's okay you know and at least you're in the in in the ring i think she said whatever but you know you're trying you're you're you're trying to make a difference right

yeah could it be an

Sarah: arena um arena that's the word

but it's the same thing isn't it that whole concept like you said before putting yourself out there

Sarah: yeah

actually and saying Like, I'm going to take up the space and this is how we can do it physically, you know, just even how we sit impacts how we think

Sarah: and

that as well if you're nervous about being on camera or speaking, just try shifting your body and your position.

Like often, if we start to think, Oh, no one wants to hear what I have to say, I'm not going to say it, I'm going to whisper it. How can we connect to our voice if we're in that place? It's about taking the space. the space in your own life day to day to then be able to take up space as well in your business.

And it builds, it builds, and it builds, and it builds.

Sarah: That's really useful advice. So, going on from that, when it comes to connecting with your dream clients what have you found most challenging and what have you learned? What can you share with the audience , around your learning on that?

So I am someone that is very swayed by what I see. So it's all about also this building this self trust of who you want to work with. So we can spend a lot of time being like, well, this person said, this is how I should do it. And this person said, this is what, you know, I need to niche at, but actually.

What I'm deciding on this is that it's more about the energy of the people I want to work with. And I can only figure that out if I'm going out there and working with people and that it is like a staged process. So for example, if we don't feel comfortable in what we're selling, whether it's your coaching or photography, whatever it is, your branding, whatever, we're not going to sell it.

Well, there's going to be subconscious thoughts that hold back. And so there's also this recognition that. If it means you need to find a price point, for example, that you just really like, Oh my God, this is incredible value. And you can afford to give it out at that price point. It's not going to burn you out because you're not earning enough for the time you're giving.

Then that's going to be the way that you communicate it with confidence. That's going to be the way you're like, I genuinely believe this is like a really great thing. If you're like, Oh, but also I'm, Oh, I feel like it might be a bit too expensive. Then you're not going to sell it. You're not going to be able to communicate.

And this comes as well from practice, right? So when I launched my in person coaching last year, I had made a couple of tiny business mistakes, but I didn't know that until I did it. And then I found that I basically was at full capacity, but I wasn't earning enough. So I then also had to take stock and say, okay, well, is this working?

In some ways? Yes. I'm getting incredible results. My clients I give, and I give, and I give, and I need to also. I need to do the work to get comfortable with charging more for what I'm offering

Sarah: to

have that alignment of energy. If we don't have that alignment of energy where you're giving out and giving out and giving out and not receiving it or not having doing those things that really recharge your tank that give you that kind of sense of a cup full, you will burn out and you'll hate your work.

And that's like we, none of us left careers to create a career that we hate, you know, we, none of us did that we are, we are all in this world because we love that creativity that we have from our work and that feeling that it gives us and so it's also about just Knowing that you can tweak and refine and taking the time to reflect. and I think I am still refining it.

Sarah: Exactly. And as you're saying, it's about, we, we create, we build these businesses to, you know, we want to be our own boss to bring ourselves a life of joy, right?

So, can you share a short story from, from your work that brings you joy?

Do you know what I was thinking about this? And like, even as we're talking then, the joy is actually almost. like the rewards of sitting with those really uncomfortable moments where things aren't working where things feel like they're not connecting and then you have a breakthrough with someone you're working with and they message you and they're like i've had the most incredible thing you know someone that thought they were never going to get a job and they message you and they're like i've got the job And it's those moments that are like, this is why I do what I do and I think it's just those small moments of proof. that actually have shown that this work has value, that it has had an impact. Those messages of like, Oh my God, that was amazing.

Like that is the joy that is just. That's so magical, you know, that, um, I was thinking about it before that Club Thrive group that I set up on WhatsApp was in response to our landlord basically being like, we're putting up the rent by like 20 percent and us not being in a position to afford it.

And that also response to adversity, but learning how actually sometimes doing that from fear isn't always the good way, but it's also okay because we learn. And there were just so many moments of like that with my clients where. It's come from a place within and it kind of You know, has then fed into these bigger, these bigger, bigger things like with Club Thrive, you know, I can't tell you how many times, this is a funny story, I've launched Club Thrive about 20 times.

One hasn't been quite right yet. That's really encouraging. I know there's something in it, maybe that's a story I should have told. I cannot tell you how many times, like, even when I was running Sterling Fit, I had this idea. I've got notes from, like, four years ago. Even this program, Dare to be Seen, that I'm doing now, I started thinking about this program four years ago.

There are people out there that look like they've got all their stuff together, and we're still scrambling underwater. Like, we're all the same. We're all just trying to figure it out. It's that real acknowledgement that it will get there wherever there is, it will, but the enjoyment of the process where we can, I came to see my partner the other day, I was like, this is just really hard.

And he was like, why are you not just telling, why are you not enjoying the process that you keep telling your clients to? Like, yeah, good point, I can finish that up here. Take, you know, and so. It's that reminder that we have all had launches that haven't worked. We have all had, and it's the moment of picking yourself up and saying, Okay, well, is it because I didn't want to do that actually?

Is it because I thought I was doing it because someone else has told me to? Or I've seen that person do it and that went really well. So that's, and even unconsciously, we can do that. So that's my funny story of joy. That the amount of failures and things going wrong and money paid out that hasn't come back and just making peace with that.

Sarah: Yeah.

Within the premises, obviously, you know, at the end of the day, it's not about burning out your whole savings, but it's We have to take risks sometimes to actually get what we want. And that that is part of the wonderful, joyous, yet sometimes painful process of entrepreneurship.

Sarah: Absolutely. It's a good reminder.

Like whenever you, you know, hear stories from very, very successful people, they are, they've always got a story of failure after failure after failure, right? And we sometimes forget that. So it's a good reminder. So finally, I just wanted to ask you, so for people just starting out and wanting to grow their brand, what advice would you give them when it comes to sharing their stories?

I think the first piece of advice is to sit with your story and connect to it and to feel, feel the things in connection with your story. Because if we don't have that connection with yourself, you're not going to connect with your audience. So this whole concept about being seen, like a lot of the approach that I have with my work is that you need to see yourself before you will be comfortable being seen by other people.

When you get that connection to your work and yourself with that level of self respect that that will give you, that's going to give you an immediate confidence boost and an immediate place of value in yourself. And that self esteem that you will have immediately then kind of boosted will help you. to think a bit bigger about what you actually want, because sometimes we do actually think about what we want and what we think we're capable of in a bit of a narrow box.

And so it's about saying, let's smash down the patriarchal views about what's possible for you dream. So you've got your story, you've understood your life journey so far and what you want to do with your company, go massive with the dream. What is the dream? Just jot it down and then, and get clear what is underneath all of those things.

Cause in the dream world, whether it's having a massive house or having, lots of parties or wearing lovely clothes is freedom of self, freedom of connection to self expression, peace, safety, basic human values and needs. And so by just kind of having this playful approach to begin with, you can then create the structure and then you have content beyond belief.

Because you can speak to people that want the same thing, but you can also do it with that personal edge of this is why this is important for me and this is why it could be important for you. Have you even thought about it? Because that's the other thing with marketing and with branding and with communication is that sometimes people are so stuck in their life that they're not even able to see the possibility and you have the chance with your story to give people hope.

You have the chance for someone to be like, Oh my God, I can have a great life. I can go out and have these things and have fun and have value. And so you have huge power in what you are holding. And if you don't share it, it's a travesty. So share it. It has worth and value. And we all want to hear your stories.

We all want to celebrate them.

Sarah: Kate, that's just beautiful. Thank you so much. That's just been an incredible conversation. I'm so glad we finally got there after an hour of

Kate: tech problems. Oh my God, the resilience, the patience, the stubbornness, all part of those qualities that we develop.

Sarah: Exactly. Thank you so much.

And I will share in the show notes, how people can find out more about you and Club Thrive.

Thank you for having me.

Wow, what a powerful conversation with Kate Sterling, I hope your feeling is lit up as I am after listening to that. Here are three key takeaways from today's episode. Number one, your voice and your story are powerful tools for connection, whether it's through journaling, video, or quiet reflection.

Getting to know your own story and how you want to express it is the first step to building true connection with your audience. You don't have to be perfect. You just have to start. Number two, your lived experience is your superpower. Kate reminded us that the challenges we faced and overcome shape who we are and how we show up in the world.

No story is too small or insignificant. We all have a story to tell. When you own your story with compassion and clarity, it becomes a magnet for those you're meant to serve. Number three, success starts with self trust. From morning rituals to money mindset, Kate spoke about the importance of reconnecting with your body, tuning into what truly matters to you, and rewriting limiting beliefs.

True confidence comes from within, and it starts with allowing yourself to take up space and share your story.

 Thank you so much for listening. If today's episode resonated with you, please consider subscribing, rating and leaving a review. And don't forget to check out the show notes to connect with Kate and learn more about Club Thrive.

You'll find a link to a free future you visualization meditation that Kate's shared.

I will also share the link to my free guide for growing your brand through soulful storytelling. So do check that out if that sounds interesting to you.

Up next is Mo Klau, who helps forward thinking leaders listen to voices at the edges and use those insights to drive inclusion and team performance. Storytelling, is at the heart of her strategy, and she's blim and good at it. So come listen.

Until then, uncover your story. Own it. Share it and shine.